This morning I suddenly thought about death.

It's fucked up, as I thought about it. I'm too young to think about it, am I not? What if I suddenly die of cancer or something? What will people remember about me? Nothing, probably those who care about me will give a thought. What have I done? Some kind of a"legacy"? No

I saw An in the library this morning. She looked tired. I guess she has been working hard these weeks, as usual. I have had this jeasousy toward An and Phuong lately. But I think they deserve what they got for how hard working they have always been.

Regret? That feeling of bitterness, the want to go back into the past adn redo things again. I guess everyone got that thinking now and then. But this morning I looked into the mirror and asked myself. What will it be in the next 20 years? No, what will I do after graduating. All the speculations and all the plannings for the future job ... but will I even get a job in the field that I study? What will I be doing in the next 20 years? An architect, or an unemployed 40 years old somthing man without anything to be proud of.?

All these thoughts just make me more depressed. Uncertainty of the future may be what makes life more challenging, more puzzling, more interesting. The past is gone, the future ihas not come, but what the fuck to do for today?

Chemistry and Economics